Hilarity Ensues
by charlienotcharlotte
Summary: What happens when a certain very special agent finds himself suddenly stuck with a certain 13 year old star? Two words: Hilarity Ensues! Not necessary to have knowledge of iCarly, story leans heavier towards NCIS than iCarly, so R&R NCIS luvrs!
1. Chapter 1

**Hilarity Ensues**

**A/N:** Okay so this is the first crossover that I've ever posted (not written posted) anyway it's kind of an odd one, it's NCIS and iCarly. Okay I know what you're probably thinking after you re-read the last sentence, she's got to be kidding, NCIS is an 8 o'clock show, and iCarly well it's an 8 times a day show, but this idea kind of hit me when I was watching iCarly....I know what 17 year old watches iCarly, well what can I say, I think the show is hilarious especially, Sam I just love her....either way you don't have to be fans of both shows to understand this fic. Anyway just read it and tell me what you think about it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters....this is also the only chapter I'm putting a full disclaimer on it's pretty obvious that I don't own any of the shows, characters, etc.

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**Chapter 1**

The elevator dinged loudly as three agents of NCIS' best team stepped off Gibbs at the forefront with a loudly arguing Tony and Ziva bringing up the rear.

"For the last time Tony, no I do not think that it is either possible or plausible for Charlie's Angels to actually happen in real life, because it is fiction!" Ziva cried throwing her hands up in disbelief.

"Come on Zee-Vah!" Tony said flashing her his 1000 watt DiNozzo grin, "Think about it, three super hot, secret agents kicking butt for the good of the world, it's totally believe-able!"

Ziva rolled her eyes incredulously, "_Tony_, there is nothing believe-able about three women taking orders from an unknown third party over a speaker phone!"

Tony raised his eyebrows stopping abruptly in front of Ziva so that they were face to face their bodies almost touching. "Really Ziva, now tell me, how exactly did Papa Mossad give you your orders." Tony grinned asking coyly.

Ziva grinned up evilly at him, then grabbed his hand, both immobilizing him and sending daggers of pain shooting up his arm as she pressed down hard on a pressure point in his hand.

"How my father may or may not give me orders is none of your business Anthony." Ziva hissed, she reached up with her free hand then gently tapped his cheek before she released her hold on him.

"You have a visitor," she said into his ear as she glanced over his shoulder.

"Though she is not as old as the rest of your visitors are." Ziva added, she chuckled softly as the joyfully expectant look on Tony's face was quickly replaced with one of confusion.

They both stared at the young girl sitting at Tony's desk, Ziva would guess her age at around 13, she looked completely comfortable as she sat  
with Tony's chair tilted back and her red converse clad feet up and on top the desk. She twirled one long golden blond curl absently on her finger as she threw what looked like Tony's Mighty Mouse stapler up into the air then caught it. She stared up at the high ceiling obviously bored. She glared over at McGee for a moment giving the suddenly pale faced agent a look that could peel paint then took some kind of unwrapped and half eaten candy out of her pocket, quickly gave it a once-over for lint, which she then picked off and chucked in McGee's general direction then stuck the candy in her mouth.

McGee who had looked up from his desk the moment he heard the elevator' s ding then Tony and Ziva's telltale bickering announcing their arrival, flew up, he hurried over to them almost losing his balance as he careened around the corner in his rush to reach Tony. Tony grabbed the younger agent before he could fall then steadied him.

"Slow down there McSpeedy Gonzales, what's with the kid?" Tony asked grabbing McGee's lunch, a still unwrapped hamburger from the man's hand, he quickly unwrapped it taking a large bite as he waited for McGee to speak.

McGee made a face shaking his head when Tony held the burger back out to him, "_Tony_, that's the second time someone's stolen my lunch today." McGee complained.

"Deal with it McWhiny," Tony shot back still waiting for an answer to his question.

McGee glared at him, _funny_, he thought, t_hat's exactly what the girl lounging at Tony's desk had told him after she stole his first burger, right after "what are you looking at," and right before, "evaporate bucko" _. McGee blushed embarrassed as he relived that particularly tense moment.

"Well what's with the kid McDazed?" Tony asked poking the man in the stomach to get his attention. McGee grimaced, "I, I don't know Tony, she showed up after you guys left for lunch and she hasn't left since." McGee managed to stutter out.

Tony groaned, "Way to investigate Probie." he said sarcastically. He looked over McGee's shoulder at the girl, she had now started rummaging through his desk drawers. "She sure made herself at home"he muttered disdainfully.

Tony pushed past McGee walking quickly over to his desk trying to figure out why the girl looked so familiar, he placed her face the moment she sat up her cheeks slightly red from having being bent over and her curls mussed slightly, "Hey hey hey, you're the girl from that web show, i-i- i-something" he exclaimed triumphantly.

"Hey hey hey," the girl began imitating his voice perfectly, "You're the lothario who knocked my mom up." she said her voice faux-enthusiastic.

Ziva snorted loudly from behind the now frozen with surprise and unable to form coherent thoughts further more words, Tony, "She is definitely yours Tony, you both share an amazing lack of tact" Ziva whispered chuckling softly as she turned away.

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**A/N:**Okay you guys what did you think? I'm not sure if to continue or not...or if this is even as funny/entertaining as I (and my identico [identical psycho]) think it is...anyway review, and tell me if I should continue it or not. If you guys say yes the next ch. Will be way longer!! this one is more of a trial type, should I keep posting kind of deal. So review you guys it's up to u!!!

Forever yours

Sarah


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed and added this story to your alerts you guys rock!!! Anyway here's the next chapter!

**Disclaimer:**See chapter 1

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Last time on Hilarity Ensues:

_Hey hey hey," the girl began imitating his voice perfectly, "You're the lothario who knocked my mom up." she said her voice faux-enthusiastic. _

_Ziva snorted loudly from behind the now frozen with surprise and unable to form coherent thoughts further more words, Tony, "She is definitely yours Tony, you both share an amazing lack of tact" Ziva whispered chuckling softly as she turned away._

**Chapter 2**

Tony gasped staring at the impish girl child perched comfortably in his chair. She stared back at him her identically blue-green eyes dancing happily.

"For an investigator, you're really quiet Pops, aren't you supposed to be all in my face and asking me a bajillion random questions, like I don't know, maybe my name? Instead of staring at me?" the girl asked standing and leaning over the desk to peer straight at Tony completely oblivious or rather uncaring that she was totally invading his personal space.

The girl frowned tilting her head when Tony still didn't speak, "_Okay,_" she said drawing out the word, "I see why my mom left you, she never really liked the stupid silent ones very much."

Tony found his voice then as he took a step back and away from the now grinning girl, "Whoa there kid, who's your mother? And I'm not a lothario by the way." Tony asked leaning towards the girl.

She sighed, "Olivia Puckett, and the magazines in your desk beg to differ," the girl shot back, smiling evilly when she saw Tony glance furtively towards the desk drawers blushing bright red.

She glanced at the half finished, and long forgotten burger in Tony's hands, "You gonna finish that Pops?" she asked taking it before he could even begin to formulate a response.

"What?" she asked at his disbelieving glance, "I'm a growing girl! And the flight was really long and the food _sucked_! And frankly that's saying a lot because few foods suck to me Pops!" she exclaimed between bites.

Tony couldn't help but smile watching her, she was no fragile little girly girl, he could tell from just looking at her, she was feisty, free spirited, Tony frowned slightly as revelation hit him like a brick, her hair, her face, her attitude,

"Livvy, from OSU! We broke up Sophomore and she transferred!" Tony said finally.

The girl scoffed disbelievingly, "She transferred all right, to the maternity ward." she deadpanned.

Tony ignored the chorus of loud laughter coming from behind him at the girl's witty comment, "What did you say your name was?" he asked.

"I didn't" the girl shot back, eyeing McGee's soda, she stood then waltzed over to his desk, ignoring his loud protests when she took it opening it quickly.

"And it's Sam, Samantha Puckett, I'm 15 by the way, born April 17th 1994. I'd give you my social too but mom always said not to give it to strangers even if they do happen to be my father." Sam said taking a long swig from the soda, she wiped her mouth on her sleeve then held the bottle back out to McGee.

The still pale faced agent shook his head, quickly stepping back, he was clearly afraid of this little scrap of humanity. Sam shrugged taking another swig, "Your loss dude" she quipped.

"Where exactly is your mother Samantha?" Tony asked sitting on the edge of his desk, he needed to feel something solid under him, something real to tell him that he was indeed awake and not inside some kind of warped Lifetime movie that had cast him as "long lost father"

"It's Sam," Sam corrected him quickly, "Oh and she's on a yacht off the coast of Switzerland." Sam answered offhandedly.

"Switzerland is landlocked," Ziva interrupted clearly confused, "It does not have a coast."

"That's what I told her," Sam replied turning her gaze from the intimidated McGee to the slightly smiling and clearly unafraid Ziva, "And that's what she told me to tell Pops here if he asked me where she was," Sam held her hands up in fake-surrender, "Her words not mine Missy."

Tony frowned not entirely liking the evil glint in Ziva's eyes, he grabbed Sam pulling her back gently before Ziva did or said anything particularly dangerous for either party, Ziva wouldn't hurt a child, or at least he hoped not, but then he wasn't even sure if this smart-mouthed girl would count as a child in anyone's book, either way Tony wasn't going to risk it, he put himself between Ziva and Sam turning to Sam quickly.

"Is she sure that you're mine?" Tony asked urgently.

Ziva scoffed, "Oh she is definitely yours Tony," she said disdainfully, Ziva turned on her heel then, "I am going to find something to shoot" she announced offhandedly then walked away her SIG already in her hands.

Sam watched her leave wrinkling her nose slightly she frowned then turned her attention back to Tony, "Positive, I've got a paternity test to prove it, and these official looking papers," Sam held up a large envelope that had "Do not open"written on the front, she of course had ignored the label and opened it, "It's a bunch of lawyer babble, that basically says that you have totally and complete custody over moi." Sam tugged at the end of one waist length ringlet absently looking around the room.

"Who peed in his cereal?"she asked pointing over at Gibbs. Tony gasped grabbing her arm and pulling it down, "Don't point at him!" he hissed, trying in vain to hide Sam's narrow frame behind his much larger one.

Sam shrugged, "Why not? it's not like he's Jesus or something." she asked rudely.

Tony sighed loudly, "Sheesh Sam, just don't, he probably saw you, great now he's going to kill me," Tony began worrying.

Sam frowned staring at him, "For federal agents you people do a lot of standing around and talking." she said loudly looking first from where Gibbs stood talking to Director Shepherd, then over to where Ducky and Palmer stood heads together and deep in conversation.

Tony groaned when Gibbs looked up and over at him, _great, the boss and the Director had definitely heard that_. "Sam," he hissed, "Do you want to get me fired? I kinda need this job you know!"

Sam nodded, "Yeah you do Pops, cause my cellphone bill, it don't pay itself, and believe me I need to be fed regularly, a hungry Sam is an angry Sam." Sam agreed, not even making an effort to bring her volume down to where her father's was.

Tony groaned again seriously considering investing in a muzzle, he frowned down at her registering what she had said, "Cellphone bill?" Tony asked completely thrown.

Sam nodded, "Yeah Pops, cellphones you know _cellular telephones_," Sam spoke slowly as if Tony was stupid, or from the 17th century. "They have these things called bills that you have to pay."

Tony rolled his eyes, "Of course I know what a cellphone bill is Sam, it's just that-" he stared after her as she wandered off before he could finish speaking.

Sam looked around the squadroom quickly, "Now what can a girl do for fun around here?" she asked out loud to herself. Her eyes sparkled mischievously, diabolical plans filling her mind. Tony frowned recognizing the expression on her pretty face, it was the same one that he himself made when he was up to something particularly bad. Tony watched her wander off wide-eyed, "Sam, hey Sam wait!"

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**A/N:**Well tell me what you think....the more reviews I get the faster I update. Thanks for everyone who's reading and reviewing.

Sarah


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